Cracks and Jesus Glue

   Some of you know that my mother suffered from bipolar disorder for many years of my life. She found support in church friends, on occasion, but I know others from our homeschooling or church circles gave her platitudes. Jesus loves you; you can do anything through him; I love you too, I hope you know that. None of that was particularly helpful, but for many I know they thought it was a genuine fix if she’d only listen.

I’m still a bit confused as to why Christians tend to think religious platitudes will help solve the great problems of life. I’m even more confused when Christians judge those who can’t ingest the platitudes and use them to turn their lives around. Sometimes things are just too broken to cover up with the clever use of a Bible verse, or a sermon, or a series on God’s love. My mother used to talk to me about “receptors” when I couldn’t understand her mental illness. “I can read a verse about God’s love a hundred times,” she said, “but until I can receive it, it doesn’t make a difference. Sometimes my receptors are damaged or numb, and I can’t experience the truth in the words I’m reading. I know it’s true, but it doesn’t change how I am or how I feel.”

Keats, Harry Potter, and the Matrix. Because I'm not a Poet.

Who was it who said, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever?"
Ah yes.
It was John Keats in his poem Endymion, and I think he was wrong.

*Cough Cough*

Hey everyone!

Or maybe I should say, hey everyone.
My voice is going, going... shortly, gone!

The only really bad part about this - besides that I get so bored when I can't talk! - is that I'm teaching backyard Bible club tomorrow.

:/

Yes, I do not feel good about this. My teaching partner Jojo and I both felt very brain dead after today's clubs, but God came through, and Jojo was able to lead a little boy to Christ!
If He used us, two worn out off-the-wall girls, don't you think He can use my voice?

(I guess I think so :) )

Gospel seminar

Tomorrow was going to be a day for upper elementary kids to learn the Wordless Book over at my house... however, I never heard back from the kids I invited, except one who wouldn't have been able to make it. :(

I feel kind of let down. I really thought this would work out, but when I started throwing up today it was apparent that the seminar wouldn't get off the ground.

Hmm.

I really thought I was meant to do this... but maybe not now. Maybe sometime in the future when God brings kids into my life who would really benefit by this. Maybe none of the kids I talked to need help sharing their faith!

I just don't know.

Anyway, the migraine's mostly gone. Just a little queasiness left.

Today I had to cancel a meeting with someone to share about the internship; I hope that gets off the ground too! It was a pretty miserable day, but the shots I got helped. Now if they'll just knock me out for a few hours. I can barely type! :)