Unworthy

Ephesians 4:1 -
"LIVE A LIFE WORTHY OF THE CALLING YOU HAVE RECEIVED."

It seems that I was called by God prior to "being worthy" of said call. Taken one way, that is incredibly humbling! God didn't see a "spark of greatness" in me, but rather saw a girl in a helpless state and a way for his power to be manifest.

Ephesians 5: 1, 8 -
"BE IMITATORS OF GOD... YOU WERE ONCE DARKNESS, BUT NOW YOU ARE LIGHT IN THE LORD."

Another way to see my unworthiness is as an encouragement. Even though I was darkness, he chose me and enabled me to be an imitator of the infinite God. I now have his power to do his will. He also gave me a commission to be "light" and "expose the fruitless deeds of darkness." God uses my worthless state to reveal his power and purpose in my life.

Looking at God's Will: "Obedience to the Heavenly Vision"

Obedience to the Heavenly Vision is a short book written by Sam Doherty, the former CEF co-director of Ireland and regional director of Europe along with his wife Sadie. I read it as a part of my support-raising training through CEF, but even if it hadn't been assigned, hopefully I would have picked it up at some point and read it through. I can't tell you how encouraging it was to me!

As I read Obedience, the personal nature of God’s vision stood out to me. Sometimes I’ve been frustrated with God’s call: why are there things He asks me but doesn’t ask my friends? Why does He send them through one route and me through another? I’m like the pot that asks its creator, why have you made me like this? I also frequently wonder if I’ve botched things up enough so that God will give up on me and take His vision elsewhere. But when I doubt my place in His plan, He continues to bring things into my life to remind me how He brought me into ministry, and that my place is here until He takes me out – things like this book.

For someone who tends to pressure herself and compare herself to others, it is liberating to read that His purpose in sending His vision isn’t merely for me to complete a task, nor is it to make me more like someone else. Rather, His revelation is to help me understand who He is; His purpose is to draw me closer to Him. Whatever God has for me will look different in some ways from what He gives to others, in the same way He made me different in looks and personality. Through this plan, He shows me that He values me, that He understands me better than I understand myself, and that His purpose for me is specific.

What about predestination?

One of my new friends sent me a short question today, asking for my thoughts on predestination. You know, just a little conversation starter. :)

I've thought about it often and at length, but it's still so hard to formulate an adequate discussion on God's role in our lives and eternal destinies.

Habakkuk 2:13, 14 (NIV)

"Has not the LORD Almighty determined that the people's labor is only fuel for the fire,

that the nations exhaust themselves for nothing?

For the earth will be filled with the knowledge of the glory of the LORD,

as the waters cover the sea."

Bethel's thoughts: No matter how hard I work (or how lazy I am), no matter how good I am or how full of mistakes, God says he'll still fill the world with knowledge of him. I just need to stand back and watch. :)

Thoughts on "The Indomitable Mr. O", by Norman Rohrer

    Life is hard when a person denies love; when they can't accept grace and insist on being enough by themselves. This seems to be a theme in the story of J. Irvin Overholtzer; he refused his parents' help and love (even when he desperately needed it), he doubted his salvation was “perfect” enough since it relied on his deeds, and he doubted whether he should even seek converts since “the best I had to offer them was to... start working for their salvation as I was doing” (The Indomitable Mr. O, pg. 57). I think that to begin (and continue) a relationship with Christ means admitting brokenness and a personal inability to face life's challenges. But even more painful is knowing that love is just around the corner, and still choosing to stay right where you are. Mr. O learned that the hard way.

September

 I didn't complete this and post it last month because it felt a little personal, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to edit a lot of this out. Now that I'm looking at this at the end of October, this post is a perfect reminder to me of how far God has taken me in the last two months, as far as my financial situation is concerned. I never expected Him to take care of me during a financial crunch, and I certainly never expected His generous outpouring the last few weeks, thanks to my local CEF committee. But enough of now; here's my life from last month:

 Hudson Taylor was the "missionary of the summer" for 5-day club this year. He is also, in a Protestant sense if there is such a thing, the patron saint of having no money.

   I used to say to my friends with great jocularity, "Guys, I don't have any money." Then I'd, on occasion, take a sister to the movies or buy treats for a group of summer missionaries, because well, I had a little non-designated cash. Now, I can honestly say "I have no money." My bank account is almost empty.

   Why am I OK with this? I'll say one thing; I'm more than OK. I'm taken care of, I'm even satisfied. That sounds ridiculous; I'm even laughing at myself tonight; but it's true. Maybe it's selfish. I don't even know.

Building Our Lives on Jesus: The Western Wisconsin blog

Here's the link to the Western Wisconsin team blog... we're starting it up again this year.

Building Our Lives on Jesus: The Western Wisconsin team: 2013: This year, eleven teens from our area will attend training camp in June and teach 5-day clubs throughout the summer! ...

CEF in Russia

For the last year now, Child Evangelism Fellowship has been working with the Russia Baptist Union to help train teachers in presenting the Gospel!

 I'm always interested in how God is working in the former Soviet Union (particularly Russia); it seems the Protestant church there has flourished, despite the changing political climate which is becoming hostile towards non-Orthodox religion. Maybe the church rifts go too deep for Protestant-Orthodox partnerships, but hopefully they can retain a peaceful coexistence, whatever the state does. According to this article from CEF's website, CEF of Russia has worked with "Orthodox, Baptist, Lutheran, Pentecostal and Charismatic" church groups, reaching over 150,000 children in 2011.

Plans

So my life has devolved into this:

Step 1: see new email, phone message, etc. about something I need to do.
Step 2: ignore message until it is no longer pertinent.
Step 3: do laundry.
Step 4: realize that I should have done something about that something instead of letting it drop.
Step 5: get annoyed and promise to do better next time. (see Step 1)

Grr. I know I'm not the only one who lives like this sometimes. But sometimes, every once in a while, on my off days, I feel the tiniest bit like I'm the only one with so many plans that aren't going anywhere. See, I'm still in the planning stages on most of...my life.

I have some event planning to do for the CEF fall banquet (one of my favorite times of the year when we get to reflect on the summer and what God has done), and some sleepover planning so our summer missionaries can get together before the fall banquet (more fun!).

But there's also plans like, how will I raise support this fall so I can continue working with CEF, or should I quit working with CEF and get a normal part-time job to juggle with my current part-time job? File under "Job Plans."

Then there's my living situation; I'm in stage one of considering a move, stage one being, "who could rent a place with me?" and "what all must I consider before making a move -- proximity to my school, or to work, or whether or not I can also afford a car?" Also, "can I really afford a move when I may or may not be between jobs (see "Job Plans")?" That's a can of worms I file under "Place Plans."

Teaching again!

It seems like a loong time since I've taught 5-day club.

It has actually been a couple years, I suppose.

But a couple weeks ago, I got to teach with a couple of missionaries who needed a third team member.

Ministry fail. You lose all your points.

"I'm sorry... I really didn't keep good records for my work last month," I muttered to the committee, feeling at first ashamed, then relieved when no one seemed to think this a yelling matter.

Amidst the sounds of understanding from the committee members, one joked, "Well we may have to fire you now."

I laughed, feeling like a weight had dropped off of me at their response. But the other committee members grew serious in an instant.

Not funny.

Weekend wedding

"So how was the wedding?" was the popular question at church today.

"Good," I said, qualifying that with "Nat and I are really tired."
Poor baby Natalie. She and I came home earlier than the rest of the family so we could work in the nursery this morning. We were both exhausted and a little sun-roasted, like July tomatoes. But Natalie came through like a trooper. As we walked out into the hot sunshine after church (and a VBS meeting neither of us had expected), I commented to Nat that at least neither of us was getting married today. "Or yesterday," she sighed. True that. One sister getting married yesterday was plenty!

Setting up tables under the grape arbor for the reception.

Sooo... What DID CYIA look like this year?

Let's see if my brain has processed the two weeks of camp yet!

     There certainly were all kinds of adventures. There was serious car trouble when missionaries started heading out to 5-day clubs the second week. Then on our way home, two of our area missionaries got in a car accident that could have killed them, but they only suffered some bruises and sore muscles. The paramedics must've had an interesting night, because the two missionaries found the situation very funny and couldn't stop making jokes about it. God must have surrounded them with more than airbags in that car -- the front was completely smashed in.

So... we got back on Friday night...
that is Friday, June 22nd... and at least one summer missionary I know slept until 5:00 Saturday night. That's how tiring camp is, I guess.
It was intense.

So intense that...people had to write things down.

     The summer missionaries I worked with were mostly in the missionary class, meaning it was their first year and they would not be learning how to teach a Bible lesson. They would, however, learn everything else. :) Their requirements included presenting to their instructors all five missionary stories and segments, presenting the Wordless Book twice, presenting counseling for salvation, teaching a Bible memory verse, a 5-day club song, and a prayer teaching.

It was a lot of work!

Even more things written down.

     Our team of 9 young ladies was epic.

Their personalities are on all points of the... what shall I call it -- the personality spectrum. One of the girls has attended 5-day clubs as a kid for years, and she was passionate about learning how to share the Gospel -- not just for the summer, but in school too. She worked super hard, and finished her requirements with excellence!
     Another missionary had a harder time focusing. She's a people-person who likes to shake things up... not a good personality for finishing a task on time. But when she came back from her first 5-day club during our second week of training, she was excited to be actually reaching kids with the gospel of Christ. Her heart was touched by what God was doing in the lives of her students.
     These two missionaries are both first year students. But another of the girls, a 14-year-old second-year student, blew the rest of us away with her focus and hard work. Her skill at keeping things focused when others were pulling away was incredible to see. She is good at getting people engaged in the task at hand, and keeps things interesting so they remain focused. She's one of our four Bible teachers this year (meaning she had to present all five Bible lessons and at least a couple of the missionary stories, plus all the requirements of a missionary class student). Whew! What dedication.
It was an encouragement.

     So many new friendships were forged, and old ties from last year were strengthened. One of my friends, who started teaching about the same time I did, came back this summer -- she skipped last year, and we really missed her. She's gotten engaged in the interval (!!!), so of course we had to talk about that. I also got to counsel a cabin of girls who were leaving after the first week of camp -- meaning I lost my cabin halfway through training! -- and they were all super-friendly, uber-talkative people. No drama, no cattiness. Just new friendships and unity in our common goal. What a blessed year.

It was  S O  M U C H  F U N.

What will CYIA look like this year?

This year, nine young people from Western Wisconsin will be training to reach kids with the Gospel. They'll be training with two team leaders, who have taught 5-day clubs for years and are now willing to share what they know with the younger teens. 

Here's a few things that these summer missionaries will learn this summer...

At the risk of being over-obvious...

They'll learn how to teach! And not just during the two-week training. One missionary said last year, “we were having difficulties teaching [at club] because of the large variety of ages and there were 36 kids. So we split the club, and it worked.” Another teen said she learned that God “can empower me to teach 25 kids just as well as 2.”

“I am excited to learn this year,” says another returning student from La Crosse, “and to review my lessons from last year.” She adds, “Watching those kids [last year] understand and accept the gift God has given was so cool.”

5-day club verses

This year, the club theme is Jesus the Lifesaver, aka Knowing Christ.

There's a new memory verse for each day, all of them about who Jesus says He is. They're known as the "I Am" verses from the book of John. :)

Monday: JOHN 10:11 "I am the good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep."

Tuesday: JOHN 6:35 "...I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty."

Some Good Reasons

  After you've done something once, the odds of you doing it again usually increase... even when you have a bad experience!

  My first year of Christian Youth in Action® (CYIA™) was not the best -- when people asked me, I said I doubted I'd be back for a second year. However, God had other plans. :)

  Some of our summer missionaries this year have questioned their own motives, and struggled to find God's voice in the tumult of everyday life. But from what I've heard them say, they all have excellent reasons for coming back this summer...

Faithfully

All educators must learn this. So must politicians, surgeons, parents, lovers, musicians, law enforcement officials, and students.

The thing we share, and all must master, is faithfulness.

To be faithful is to maintain your commitment to something or someone, whatever the circumstances or feelings you experience.

An educator has to be faithful to the people they teach, not filling their minds with useless knowledge, but guiding them into hard work and achievement.

A politician has to be faithful to their constituency's needs and desires and accurately meet them.

Surgeons and parents have similar jobs, as they remove the bad and strengthen the good. To make their work count, they have to follow through once they begin.

Lovers must learn to be faithful to each other to see their relationship grow, and musicians must practice their instrument in order to increase their ability with it.

Policemen and women have to uphold the law the same every time, no matter how painful.

Students (such as myself) have to consistently work at their studies to pass classes and graduate.

Despite the overwhelming need for faithfulness in our world, I have to admit that I am not very good at it. I am   inconsistent; I avoid challenges; I don't do things when "I don't feel like it."

But the last few weeks God has challenged me to remain faithful to Him and to the ministry to which He has called me. I have made a commitment. Now all that remains to be seen is, will I be faithful to it?

Manifesto

Christ has given me a purpose -- "from now on, you will catch men."

He entrusted the ministry of reconciliation to me!

Why do I doubt? I can't do his work -- obviously -- but he can.

I believe he will get me through school in his way, and that he'll educate me far beyond that.

I believe he will guide the people around me and draw my heart to the right person at the right time, so there's no reason for me to be concerned about it now.

I believe he will deepen my dependence on him. And I believe this one will be painful.

I believe he will heal my body and mind.

                      -- OK, I'm still having a hard time with this one. I'm still afraid he won't heal me and I'll mess            
                          everything up because I'm broken. But...

I believe he will use me for his glory even though I'm broken. His Spirit will move in me to touch others' lives.

I (in myself) am afraid. But I (in Him) am confident that He is not finished with me yet.

The CEF Statement of Faith

I was messing around as usual today when I came across the CEF Statement of Faith. 
I like reading it because it reminds me of what's so vitally important about the Christian faith. Here's my favorite bit: 

   "...No degree of reformation however great, no attainment in morality however high, no culture however attractive, no humanitarian and philanthropic schemes and societies however useful, no baptism or other ordinance however administered, can help the sinner take even one step toward Heaven; but a new nature imparted from above, a new life implanted by the Holy Spirit through the Word is absolutely essential to salvation...