September

 I didn't complete this and post it last month because it felt a little personal, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to edit a lot of this out. Now that I'm looking at this at the end of October, this post is a perfect reminder to me of how far God has taken me in the last two months, as far as my financial situation is concerned. I never expected Him to take care of me during a financial crunch, and I certainly never expected His generous outpouring the last few weeks, thanks to my local CEF committee. But enough of now; here's my life from last month:

 Hudson Taylor was the "missionary of the summer" for 5-day club this year. He is also, in a Protestant sense if there is such a thing, the patron saint of having no money.

   I used to say to my friends with great jocularity, "Guys, I don't have any money." Then I'd, on occasion, take a sister to the movies or buy treats for a group of summer missionaries, because well, I had a little non-designated cash. Now, I can honestly say "I have no money." My bank account is almost empty.

   Why am I OK with this? I'll say one thing; I'm more than OK. I'm taken care of, I'm even satisfied. That sounds ridiculous; I'm even laughing at myself tonight; but it's true. Maybe it's selfish. I don't even know.

   It's true that I had plans about moving soon; thoughts (pipe dreams really) about continued education, if for no other reason that I won't be thought a college dropout; and I should mention that I love clothes. I really love new clothes. But since I... stopped having money... I haven't even felt the need for it. I'm still fed, clothed, sheltered; I am typing this on my dad's PC since my laptop died and I can't pay for the fix yet, but that's OK. Obviously I can still do my work and use a computer. I can't buy people presents as often (sigh) but I can still cook food for them and watch library movies with them. I'm reading more, from the library. 

   I felt at first like this situation was not ideal. There's so many things I wanted, and I could't do them without money, which on the surface meant that EVERYTHING SUCKED. But not long after, I realized that my sense of peace didn't match up with the EVERYTHING SUCKS mentality.

   My verse for 5-day club four years ago was Isaiah 41:13, "For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you." I've decided to hang on to this verse for the fall, as I live life without much money (and start doing support-raising through CEF headquarters). 

All things. ALL things.