Cracks and Jesus Glue

   Some of you know that my mother suffered from bipolar disorder for many years of my life. She found support in church friends, on occasion, but I know others from our homeschooling or church circles gave her platitudes. Jesus loves you; you can do anything through him; I love you too, I hope you know that. None of that was particularly helpful, but for many I know they thought it was a genuine fix if she’d only listen.

I’m still a bit confused as to why Christians tend to think religious platitudes will help solve the great problems of life. I’m even more confused when Christians judge those who can’t ingest the platitudes and use them to turn their lives around. Sometimes things are just too broken to cover up with the clever use of a Bible verse, or a sermon, or a series on God’s love. My mother used to talk to me about “receptors” when I couldn’t understand her mental illness. “I can read a verse about God’s love a hundred times,” she said, “but until I can receive it, it doesn’t make a difference. Sometimes my receptors are damaged or numb, and I can’t experience the truth in the words I’m reading. I know it’s true, but it doesn’t change how I am or how I feel.”

Treating God as God

8/18/12
A few thoughts on...

Hosea 14:3
       We will never again say
       'Our gods' to what our 
       hands have made, for in 
       you the fatherless find compassion.

'Our gods' our hands have made - what I spend time with; creative time, relationship-building, loving time. What I invest my life in.
                     Turning in times of pain & distress to these things. Seeking advice or comfort when confused, love when I'm needy, direction when I'm aimless. Sacrificing for these things.

Manifesto

Christ has given me a purpose -- "from now on, you will catch men."

He entrusted the ministry of reconciliation to me!

Why do I doubt? I can't do his work -- obviously -- but he can.

I believe he will get me through school in his way, and that he'll educate me far beyond that.

I believe he will guide the people around me and draw my heart to the right person at the right time, so there's no reason for me to be concerned about it now.

I believe he will deepen my dependence on him. And I believe this one will be painful.

I believe he will heal my body and mind.

                      -- OK, I'm still having a hard time with this one. I'm still afraid he won't heal me and I'll mess            
                          everything up because I'm broken. But...

I believe he will use me for his glory even though I'm broken. His Spirit will move in me to touch others' lives.

I (in myself) am afraid. But I (in Him) am confident that He is not finished with me yet.

How small is your strength! (Proverbs 24:10)

Sometimes I realize how completely lost and hopeless I am. It's not like I want to be a fool, but sometimes I really am a fool.

Keats, Harry Potter, and the Matrix. Because I'm not a Poet.

Who was it who said, "a thing of beauty is a joy forever?"
Ah yes.
It was John Keats in his poem Endymion, and I think he was wrong.

This Easter...

Most glorious Lord of Life! that, on this day,

Didst make Thy triumph over death and sin;
And, having harrowed hell, didst bring away

Captivity thence captive, us to win:

Teach Me to Breathe

I had never thought of this before today, but perhaps... perhaps I've looked at my relationship with God backwards.

In my Sunday school class this week, our teacher mentioned how our brains eventually learn how to multitask, so we can walk and chew gum and talk on the phone all at the same time!

But while we are conscious of doing all this things, on a deeper level, our brain is controlling the function of our heart, lungs, eyes, and nerve endings. We aren't conscious of it, but our heart is beating and we are breathing as we walk, talk and chew.


So.
Instead of consciously thinking about God all the time - impossible to do; I know, I've tried - I need part of my brain to automatically think of Him when trials come or I see something beautiful. I need, in short, a sub automatic mental function that connects to my spiritual consciousness.

But I never had to train my brain to make me breathe on its own. I have had to strengthen my lungs to gain a greater air capacity, but my brain already knew to make me breathe without my help. But don't you think the same God, who made my brain keep me alive automatically, could make me able to run to Him automatically?

Change is Coming

So here we go, getting ready for another summer of seeing God transform lives!











This year, I'm not interning. Just working with the teens as they preach the Gospel.

There's nothing more fulfilling than seeing God work in the lives of young people - or older people. And that's what CEF is about... reaching children, and their families and caregivers. One child who had attended 5-day club was able to present the Gospel to children and parents at a fair later that year! She got to see the Lord use her as a worker for His kingdom - is there anything more exciting or life-changing than that?

The changes God produces in our lives have an effect on each person we come in contact with, bringing His love further and further outward until the whole world has heard the Good News!

Is this the summer when every tribe, every tongue, and every nation will hear it? God can transform any life; there is no task too large for God.

Celebrate!

Good news (and this besides the Gospel)!

This past week my teaching buddy and I were privileged to lead over three children to Christ!

Praise God!

It's harder to tell when a large group of children is praying with you, to know whether they understand and accept it or not. But we got to talk to a few individually, so that's why I say "over three." Most likely there were kids in the large groups that truly meant their prayer of response. And perhaps some of those personally counseled three haven't truly accepted it!

But that's OK... we've done our part, and God did the rest.

Hurray for God! Hurray for teaching buddies! And hurray for having a voice at the end of a long week of teaching!

Actually, I went to Mauston for a host meeting today, and was able to do the presentation in an almost normal voice. I say that with a huge smile, because my voice never ever heals this quickly from a cold.

Whoo, there's still so much scheduling to do - host meetings or mailings that need to take place - and more than a few calls and emails. Please pray I will rely on God and do my best...